“Sticky Steve” document collected The Big Iron

The following was collected from the writings of Stephen “Sticky Steve” Carter while incarcerated by the Majestic-12 in Blackbrush Federal Penetentary aka The Big Iron. Subject was asleep and unaware of the colleciton. Writings appear to date approximately November to December 2022.

Got woken up this morn by scream’n yet again. Wasn’t no tusselin this time, reckon it was just Tattitude givin’ th’ gurneys some guff. Dragged m’sel’ outta bed an’ used the lil’ light shinin’ through the winder t’flip through the good book till’ it was time fer breakfast. Oatmeal t’day, less runny than usual so it musta been a special occasion, and a glass of orange juice.

S’free time after that, finally got let into the yard with gen pop. S’kinda like in the picture-shows everyone keeps tryin’ t’get me to watch, only it’s more secure-like. Feels like a big ol’ football arena, but with a roof on it, and the stands is just where the guards is watchin’ us. I was fixin’ t’shoot some hoops with the fellas, maybe start t’make some friends round here (Momma always says friends is good) but I seen’t that King Krakertora [Editor note: King Krakatoa] skulkin’ about so I hids for most my free time. I ain’t got no idea where he thinks I owe him money, I ain’t never met the man before, but I ain’t gonna be the one to tell that big fella he’s wrong.

They finally approved my request fer work, so they pulls me outta the yard a little early to shows me round where I’ll be workin’. They’s took me so deep into the prison, I ain’t even know that the prison was that big. Makes me wonder how big this sumbitch really is. Anyway, they takes me to a factory floor where they gots about a dozen people makin’ them Californie license plates, but it was mostly thems tellin’ me all the things I wasn’t allowed to do. On the way back, I did a little more lookin’ around, just on account of I was curious, and they gots some weird things in here. They had hallways that seemed to go on forever and I saw a staircase so big that I didn’t even get to see the bottom of it. I asked the guards what was down there, he just a’chuckled at me and says thats where they sticks the real nasty ones. I dunno what kinda folks could be round’ here that’s worse than that King Krakertora, but I ain’t in no rush to mosey on down that holler.

After that we hads lunch, sandwiches, nothin’ that fancy. Whole lotta sittin’ in m’cell after that. Wrote Momma a letter, she says my penmunship get’n better. I spents a long time a-writin’ it so it would look all neat. Then I read the Good Book s’more. I ain’t sure how much I believe in that, but I hope that lookin’ at the nice letters’ll make my penmunship a lil’ better-like. Momma seems real proud when I write them nice lookin’ words, and I ain’t make that woman proud enough in my life. Somethin’ real strange happened before supper, though. I was readin’ the good book and I starts to hear a voice in my head. I thought it was just my brain tellin’ me what the book was sayin’, but ain’t none of them words was in the good book. It was sayin’ somethin’ about not bein’ from here and wantin’ to go back to the stars, and it was askin’ for help. If I ain’t know no better, I’d says that there was an angel trapped in the Good Book that was a’fixin’ to get out of that thing.

Supper was lookin’ to be a real jamboree, we hads chicken and rice and they gave us these lil’ fruit cups with em’. I was real excited to be eatin’ that fruit cup, but that Krakertora came n’ said that I owed em’. I wanted to say somethin’ but he had a real mean look that said I ain’t want no trouble. Trouble still came, f’course. I’d gotten to chow downs bout half my food before two boys starts a’tusselin’. I heard later that one of them fellas was real strong-like and that the other had some kinda shocky powers, but they both hads them power dampeners on so they was a clubberin’ one another. I wanted to watch the slobberknocker but I knew that I wasn’t gonna have too much time to eat m’supper so I starts to wolf it down as quick as I can before Lockdown Lass came in and brokes it up. Shoot, it ain’t take her more than two minutes. I seen’t some big fellers in my day, but this woman looks like Andre the Giant ate that Dwayne Johnson feller.

Once things had calmed down some, we all gots taken back to our cell. Seen’t that Slugger feller talkin’ with one of the guards, which I thought was real strange. Been seein’ a lot of people talkin’ to them guards lately. I seen’t Tattitude and I seen’t the Machine Kid [Editor note: Machinist’s Daughter] talkin’ and I thoughts maybe they was a snitchin’ on someone, but they was talkin’ to the same guards that Slugger feller was talkin’ to, and that Slugger feller ain’t the type that strikes me as a snitch. I wonder what they’re conversatin’ bout’.

Anyway, guard says lights in 10. Still gotta scrub the turlet fore’ bed. I’ll be writin’ tomorrow. I hope Momma would be proud of how nice this here journal entry looks. I think it’s nice.